


Welcome to Lake Night Vale

by sevendeadlyfun



Category: Lake Wobegon Days - Garrison Keillor, Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fusion, Cross-Posted on Tumblr, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-11
Updated: 2013-08-11
Packaged: 2017-12-23 03:15:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/921351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sevendeadlyfun/pseuds/sevendeadlyfun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Well, it has been a quiet week in Night Vale, out there on the edge of the scrublands and the sand wastes, out where I’m from.  People have been thinking about Friday all week, which they know that they shouldn’t.  Friday has been forbidden by the Sheriff’s Secret Police, so you’ll want to be careful.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Welcome to Lake Night Vale

**Author's Note:**

> I think there's two ways you could cross over these fandoms - either you put out the doings of Night Vale as if it were Lake Wobegon or you put Lake Wobegon characters in Night Vale. I did the former but I'd love to read the latter. Who doesn't want to see how Carl Krepsbach would deal with the Faceless Old Woman?

Well, it has been a quiet week in Night Vale, out there on the edge of the scrublands and the sand wastes, out where I’m from. People have been thinking about Friday all week, which they know that they shouldn’t. Friday has been forbidden by the Sheriff’s Secret Police, so you’ll want to be careful. 

While Friday has been forbidden, the week still has 8 days as mandated by the Night Vale City Council. Old Woman Josie, out near the car lot, well, she reports that her friends the angels said that there were three Wednesdays this week. And you will have weeks like, won’t you? Weeks where it feels like Wednesday just won’t ever let up. 

Old Woman Josie, out near the car lot, decided that she wasn’t going to let a week of Wednesday get her down. She and her friends the angels were whoopin’ and hollerin’ a bit – Old Woman Josie, out near the car lot, some of you may recall used to be quite the rabble rouser in her youth. That vacant lot out behind the Ralph’s used to be a dance hall – this was of course before we learned that dancing is the chosen interrogation method of the vague and menacing government agency – and Old Woman Josie used to take her dancing feet out for a spin and burn that place down. They would rebuild it, you know, after every fiery conflagration, which was nice of them – whoever they are.

It was also a long week for John Peters, you know, the farmer – his imaginary corn crop is set to bring in a lower yield than he had expected and it has been bringing him down, a bit. He was talking about it to a Hooded Figure at Big Rico’s Pizzeria, where he stopped in for his weekly legally mandated pizza. He doesn’t eat the pizza, of course. Big Rico hasn’t really mastered the cauliflower crust and while John Peters (you know – the farmer) doesn’t like to run afoul of the law, he also doesn’t like to eat a poorly constructed cauliflower crust. 

So he sat there next to the Hooded Figure, the plain cheese cauliflower crust pizza steaming in front of him, and he couldn’t tell if the Hooded Figure was actually listening but he guessed it didn’t matter. He wanted to talk to someone and a Hooded Figure is as good as a therapist for helping you figure out your problems.

The Sheriff’s Secret Police revealed, in a coded press release that took Intern Jolicia and the station oracles awhile to decipher, this feeling is due to the electromagnetic field emitted by the Hooded Figures which resonates in some way with our brains which the Sheriff’s Secret Police were not at liberty to discuss in specific. 

It got him thinking about how things don’t always work out like you expect. Imaginary corn doesn’t come in as quickly or as lushly as you’d expect, even with a steady government grant propping up their invisible stalks. Hooded Figures offer help in ways you wouldn’t think a Hooded Figure could help (electromagnetic fields and all). Pizza can be made with cauliflower, if you don’t mind it not tasting at all like any pizza you’ve ever had before. 

I guess that’s the secret for surviving a week of Wednesdays – being willing to accept the unacceptable and believe the unbelievable. And of course to HAIL THE MIGHTY GLOW CLOUD. 

That is the news from Night Vale, where the sun is hot, the moon is beautiful, and mysterious lights pass overhead while we all pretend to sleep.


End file.
